Under the Water
by TheDownfallOfUsAll391
Summary: Alec Lightwood wanted to melt into the shadows. He relies heavily on music, books and self-harm to get through his abusive home life. When he moves across country, a beautiful stranger named Magnus Bane tries to knock down his walls that he so tediously built. AU/AH. Trigger warning: Self-harm and abuse. Also, there will be lemons.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: Hello! I'm Dess, and I decided to write this story about my favorite pairing. They're my babies. Just a warning, the chapters will contain abuse, cursing, self-****harm and lemons in later chapters. I hope you enjoy it. If you have any advice, don't hesitate to tell me. ._.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own TMI or Collective Soul. I pretty much live in a literary cardboard box here.**

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><p>Chapter 1: Schism<br>"Alexander, take your headphones off," Maryse said, looking sternly at her eldest child. Alec rolled his eyes and continued to mouth the words to the song, pretending that he couldn't hear her. Music was an escape for him, bringing on a numbness that was hard for him to come by; he was an emotional being. He was made fun of constantly for it. "Alexander, this is the last time I will tell you. I have something important to discuss with you all once Robert gets home." Isabelle, Alec's sister, perked up at this. She loved news of any kind. Alec took out his headphones and smirked at Izzy's behavior. He didn't understand why she got so excited about these sort of things. He knew that when they had news, it had to do with their work and almost never benefited the family.  
>The sound of the door slamming closed brought him out of his thoughts. He unconsciously sat up straighter when his father walked through the room. Robert Lightwood was not a man to displease. He was a successful business man, wanting his first born son to become a carbon copy of himself so that he could take over the family business. When Alec grew to love the solitude of books instead of his father's trade his father made it quite plain how he felt about it. Alec had dealt with his father's abuse towards him his whole life, but he still wanted to please him.<br>His mother cleared her throat, making the four Lightwoods look up at her. "Me and your father have received a business opportunity too beneficial to pass up. We're transferring from our firm here in London to one in New York. We've signed a 5 year contract, so instead of leaving you children here, we're all moving to the United States and you will be going to a school in New York. We leave in a week, so you need to pack your belongings."  
>Izzy immediately started in after her mother quit talking. "I can't just leave! All of my friends are here and I've just only began my dance classes! And I'll be beginning my junior year next week!" Maryse looked at her daughter gently," I know it's hard, but you will make new friends, and New York has a fantastic dancing program, as well as football and soccer for Jace and Alexander. It will bring new opportunities for all of us."<br>Jace got up from the table, making the dishes rattle. "I can't believe this. You've been gone for two weeks and you don't ask about us, you didn't even notice that Alec is wearing a sweater without any holes, you just jump straight into this! It's bullshit." His golden curls bounced as he strode away, only to be stopped by Robert. He slammed Jace's shoulder into the wall, making a small whimper come out of Jace's mouth. That did it for Alec. He got up quickly from the table and threw a plate down at Robert's feet, making it shatter. "Stop it! Just let him leave," he said, shoving his father away from Jace. His father's eyes flamed with rage but the rest of his face was eerily calm. He took hold of Alec's arm and took him out of the kitchen.  
>Alec braced himself for what was about to happen. Just because he went through it nearly every time his father was home didn't make it less terrifying. He dealt with it since he was a child. The only reason he even let this happen was because he was even more terrified of this happening to one of his siblings. So, when the door to his father's office closed, he didn't cry, or scream or beg. He reminded himself of the love he felt for his family.<br>His father faced him with his arms crossed over his broad chest. He would be an attractive man, with his dark hair and groomed beard if it wasn't for his eyes. They were the same beautiful shade of black as his sister's, only the emotion in them was much different. He held rage and hatred in his dark eyes. "Alexander, do you think you are a better parent than me?" Yes, he did. He knew it in fact. How many times had he signed permission slips? How many times had he went with his younger siblings to parties to make sure that they came home safe, even though he hated being at them? How many times had he given them presents, saying they were from their parents? More than he could remember, yet he shook his head even though he wanted to scream it in his face. "Really now? Then why would you step in when I am reprimanding my own child? Do you think you're special? Do you think you actually mean anything," he asked, sneering at his first born son. No, he did not think any of these things. He knew he wasn't special. He was plain, he blended into the shadows.

Pain lanced in his cheeks when his father grabbed his cheeks roughly, making him look up from the floor to his father's face. "Now, Alexander, I will make you remember that you are not special, and you are nothing." Robert let go of his face. Alec stumbled back and found solitude in the corner of the room. His father came at him and struck him hard on his upper cheek. Pain raced through him, but he didn't make a noise. Robert hit him again, this time in his ribs and Alec's air rushed out between his teeth in a hiss. Robert laughed at his discomfort and began placing blows all over Alec's body, making him slump against the wall. He kept his eyes closed while his father beat him, trying to think of his happy place.  
>He ended up on the ground with Robert kicking him. He finally quit, laughing. "Leave now, Alexander, and don't come to dinner tonight. Everyone will think that you have a bad stomach ache. If there are any bruises, cover them," he finished, leaving the room.<br>Alec laid there for a moment before deciding to get up and go to his room. He limped his way up the stairs and closed the door to his bedroom. He felt the beginnings of hot tears pouring down his cheeks while he walked over to his bathroom. He hastily opened his medicine cabinet and found a bottle of sleeping pills. He quickly swallowed a few and began looking for his razor. He found his small metal trinket box and opened it, revealing a rectangular razor placed on top of the red velvet. He took the razor in his hands and held it like it was the Bible. Hallelujah, praise Gillette. He quickly took off his pants, revealing his thin and muscular thighs that were littered with thick white scars. He couldn't cut on his arms because he was in soccer; they would be seen when he was in uniform. But he didn't really care where they were, as long as he did it. He shoved the earpieces from his headphones into his ears roughly, blaring Collective Soul in his ears. He brought the sharp blade to his inner thigh and slid it across his delicate pale skin, sighing audibly.  
>This iPod was his hymns, his razor his Bible. And so he praised. "Give me a way, give me a sign, show me where to look and tell me what will I find?"<br>How he wished he could shine.

**Okay, I really hope you liked it. ^.^ **


	2. Chapter 2: Brain Stew

**A/N: Here's the second chapter. I know it seems kind of pathetic to as for a review, but it would mean a lot. I really want to make this story good, so your opinion would be really appreciated. I just don't know if what I'm writing is okay or not, as cliche as that sounds. Okay, sorry for rambling about poop. Take it sleazy and I'm out.**

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><p>Chapter 2: Brain Stew:<p>

Two weeks later, Alec and his siblings were boarding a plane to New York, leaving their old life behind. Part of Alec wanted to come out in America and start new, but he knew how his father would react to it. He wanted to be happy with himself, but the words that his father said to him buzzed around his head like bees, stinging him over and over again.

Alec felt a small sweaty hand being slipped inside of his. He looked down at Max who had a look of pure determination in his eyes. The poor kid had never been on a plane before, and while he was excited, he couldn't help but be a little scared. Max always went into things with bravery, and Alec wanted to be like him. "Hey M. Are you okay?" Max looked at him through his glasses," Of course I am," he said, acting like it was an obvious fact.

They boarded the plane, Alec taking his seat by Max who was all but shaking with excitement. When they took off Max looked out the window in awe at the cars and people getting smaller and smaller. "I wonder if this is what it feels like to be a Titan," Max said quietly. Alec laughed at him.

Max and Alec talked about manga the entire way to New York. It was times like this that Alec felt almost happy and could forget about the things he dealt with at home. As long as Max never had to feel that way, Alec could deal with everything his father threw at him. Max was just so mature and worldly. He made Alec realize why he went through everything. Max didn't deserve any of the pain.

Max, who had been quiet for a while, suddenly turned to Alec and looked at him through wise eyes. "Alec, I hope you know that you are special and your life has meaning," he said. Alec's eyes grew wide. There was no way that Max could have heard what happened, right? He couldn't have. But the understanding look in his brother's eyes told him otherwise. Alec just laughed," Yeah, Max, everyone's life has meaning. So you said that he was framed for the murder so he had to go to Dead Man Wonderland?" Max's eyes lit up and he began explaining in detail all about his new favorite manga while Alec was screaming on the inside

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><p>After landing at the airport, they hailed a cab. They got in, and Alec couldn't help but be awestruck by the beauty of the great city. The sun glinted off of the skyscrapers that looked so tall that they seemed surreal. The horizon of the city was marred with the loud cars and people bustling about the streets. Everything was moving and alive.<p>

They pulled up to a large white house in a gated community. Alec rolled his eyes looking at the house. Of course his parents bought a huge house, they were all about appearances. As long as everything looked okay, it didn't matter if it really was. They all grabbed their bags and went inside of the front door. The inside of the house was furnished with modern furniture that was completely his mother's taste. "Okay, let's all look for a room," Izzy said, excitedly. She ran off in the most graceful of ways and the boys rolled their eyes and followed suit. Alec wandered around until he ended up on the second floor hallway. He looked up and saw a trapdoor to the attic and pulled down, revealing a ladder. He stepped up and saw a huge room with slanted windows. The attic even had a bathroom. He decided to stay here, so he dropped his bags on the ground.

The sound of someone coming up the ladder made Alec turn around. Izzy's dark spill of hair came over the edge of the door and Alec came to help her up. She swatted away his hand, sticking out her tongue at him. She got up and sat on the floor. "So, Alec, are you excited? New school, new _boys_," she said grinning. Alec blushed," I-I-no! Why would you think that? ," He sputtered. She laughed. "Alec, please. Don't lie to me. I'm your sister. Plus, I've seen you check out guys before." When he didn't say anything, her eyes softened. "Hey, listen, I know that it's hard and that you don't want to acknowledge it but I support you. I'm okay with it, actually more than okay. We can talk about boys together!" Alec laughed and felt a weight being lifted off of his shoulder. "Okay, but I draw the line at gay shopping parties," he joked.

They continued to talk until it was dark and they went to bed. He lay down, thinking about what had just happened. He came out to Izzy, and she said it was okay. He really did feel relieved, but a part of him didn't believe it. It was so hard to believe that someone was supporting him when he couldn't even support himself. His hair was too dark and shaggy, his nose was too straight, he was boring and too tall and nothing about him was appealing. He began crying softly, hoping with all that he had in him that tomorrow he would be able to face the unknown with his head held high.

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><p><strong>So thanks if you read it, and if you would, please review. Sorry that it's kind of a filler chapter but I made some stuff happen with words so snaps for Dess.<strong>


	3. Chapter 3: Fuck The System

Chapter 3: Fuck The System

Alec woke with a start, gasping for air. He looked around blindly until he realized he was in his new room and that he was having nightmares. His cheek was bleeding from where he bit it and he winced , probing the ragged flesh with his tongue. He sighed, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and looking at the clock on his nightstand. It was 6:30, he had to wake up everyone and get them ready.

He woke Izzy first so that she would be able to shower without Jace trying to kill her. Alec cooked everyone breakfast after getting dressed himself, and after eating they piled up into Alec's blue Camry.

After a few hectic attempts to find the school, he finally pulled into the cracked asphalt of the school parking lot. The red brick building stood out against the small green field. Alec's eyes rolled involuntarily; of course his parents chose a private school. If they had to wear uniforms, Izzy would probably go into a coma. Alec couldn't care less. Jace looked over at Alec smiling his lion like smile. "Can you imagine all the girls that are in there? _American _girls," he said. Alec just slid a tight smile at Jace. If only he knew that girls in any country didn't appeal to him.

They walked into the main office. It smelled like paper and it was so cold that Alec was shivering while trying to explain who they were. Jace just sauntered up to the blonde receptionist and Alec blushed. Jace was so confident and beautiful; Alec wanted to be like him so badly that it hurt.

After working out their schedules, they went off to their respective classes once the shrill bell rung. Alec's first class was AP Literature, and to say he was nervous was an understatement. He didn't want to draw any attention, but he was new and from a different country. The paper of his schedule was sticking to the palm of his sweaty hands. He reached the classroom, practically hyperventilating and he reached for the handle, taking a huge breath to calm his nerves. He walked straight to the teacher and quietly announced his presence with a small cough. The teacher turned around with a piece of chalk in between his fingers and his yellow mustache moved like a caterpillar when he talked. "Ah, you must be the new student. Why don't you introduce yourself to the class," he said, unknowing that he just made the small, unreasonable, part of Alec's brain want to stab him in the face with his chalk. He turned around and looked at the large class. His vision blurred a little bit and he mumbled,"I'm Alec Lightwood." A group of girls were giggling and twirling their hair and Alec had to fight down the urge to recreate the vomiting scene from The Exorcist. He blushed and walked to the desk he was assigned to, next to a boy with short green hair and snakebites. As soon as he sat down, the boy reached over and grabbed Alec's hand, moving his own so that Alec had no other choice than to shake it. "Ragnor Fell's the name, who are you?" "Alec." Ragnor smiled at him and they finished the lesson helping one another with their work; Ragnor was good but Alec loved Literature, he was the better of the two at it.

When the bell rung, Ragnor stopped Alec. "There's going to be a party at my house tonight, you should come." Alec blushed, "Uh, parties aren't my thing really." Ragnor just shrugged and let Alec go to his next class. The next few hours were stressful until he reached his 4th hour Calculus class. He walked in and sat down in the very back, pushing in his headphones and blaring System Of A Down. He sighed, remembering talking to the soccer coach. When he ran drills to try out for the team, Coach Shawn immediately moved a scary looking boy with white hair and black eyes down a spot so that Alec could fill it. The boy had been giving Alec threatening looks for the rest of the practice.

Suddenly, a ring laden hand tapped the desk in front of him, bringing him out of his reverie. He pulled out his headphones in confusion. Slowly, he looked up to meet the eyes of the most beautiful human being he had ever seen. His skin was the color of caramel and his lithe form was panther-like. His ebony hair was spiked into a tasteful disarray of spikes that glittered around his head, framing his elegant face. The clothes he was wearing were scandalously tight, showing off his lean body. When their eyes finally met Alec's mouth dropped. They were slightly slanted, showing he had at least partial Asian heritage, and were the most beautiful mixture of gold and green that swirled together into a complicated pattern. Behind his eyes was an emotion that Alec had seen in his own: suffering.

He finally realized that he had been staring unceremoniously at the boy when he quirked a pierced eyebrow at Alec. Alec sputtered a sentence that was a mixture of a compliment and an apology. The boy laughed, "Sorry if you're flustered by the glitter but you're kind of in my seat," "Sorry," he whispered, jumping up and away from him before Alec could say anything else unintelligent.

He felt like he was going to die if he stayed in the room with this beautiful human being. When the bell finally rung, he ran off to the cafeteria, trying to find Izzy and Jace. Izzy was sitting in the middle of the crowded dining hall. She was chatting animatedly with a boy with brown hair and glasses. Alec skipped over buying food, still feeling a little nauseous after his encounter with the boy in his class.

Isabelle squealed when she saw Alec, hugging him when he came within reach of her. He hugged her back, feeling a little better at his sister's touch. She started talking so fast about her classes and the people that she's met that he couldn't hold on to every word. She gestured around the table, introducing him to the people at the little table. The brown haired boy's name was Simon. There was a redheaded girl named Clary who was in the middle of a heated argument with Jace. A pretty girl with long brown hair and kind eyes named Tessa sat next to a boy with silver hair, who everyone called Jem, and a boy with tanned skin and black hair named Will. Alec mumbled a hello to everyone and tried not to cringe away from all the human contact.

Izzy looked at Alec intensely and he realized he had been zoning out. "Earth to Alec. We're going to a party tonight." Alec halfheartedly tried to fight with her about it, but finally agreed so that he could watch over Jace and Izzy. He would have to leave Max alone, but he was 12 now and was probably the most responsible out of Alec's siblings.

The rest of the day was a blur to Alec- He just wanted to not feel everything he was feeling. All of the new things being pushed onto him at once was really weighing on him and he had to dig his nails into the palms of his hands to keep himself from screaming. He was in a new place, but he told himself everything would always be the same. As soon as the thought entered his mind, he saw a pair of gold and green eyes lined expertly with kohl and he thought to himself that maybe something would change.


	4. Chapter 4: Falling Away From Me

**Author's note: Oh my, I'm so sorry for not posting a note or anything in the last chapter. I was fairly drunk and didn't think it was wise to try and type, so I just posted what I already wrote! Anywho, thank you all for the reviews, I'm glad this had such positive feedback. There have been a few questions about length and my updating, so I will try and clear it up. I'm thinking it will be pretty long, maybe 30 or 40 chapters. As for updating, I literally don't have a schedule. I just do it when I feel like writing. Well, here's the next chapter, I hope you enjoy it.**

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><p>Chapter 4: Falling Away From Me<p>

Alec Lightwood was miserable. He was currently in a dark corner of the room, trying to stay away from the pulsing lights and grinding bodies. When they first arrived here, Izzy and Jace ditched Alec to go drink and talk to their new friends, making him immediately regret coming with them. When a drunk girl came over to him, trying to get him to kiss her, he decided it would be best to go outside and get some air.

Once he stepped out in the cold night air, he sighed and pulled out a cigarrette. He felt like he was having a midlife crisis even though he was only 18; he always took care of his siblings, making him grow up fast. This never really bothered him, but nights like tonight made him remember that he couldn't ever just let go like they did. He had to take care of them and raise Max, because if he didn't, who would? His siblings didn't have to deal with the things he did, and while he was extremely grateful for it, he was also jealous. He lit up the cigarrette, drawing in a breath and letting it out, feeling slightly more relaxed.

"Well, hello stranger," a velvety voice said. Alec turned around to see the boy from his Calc class standing behind him, holding an unlit cigarette between his teeth. Alec blushed and took a moment to form a coherent thought by taking another drag from his. "Hello," he said quietly. The boy smiled and stepped closer to Alec. "What's your name, cutie?" Alec felt his cheeks burning and he coughed, covering his face with the sleeve of his sweater. "I-uh. Um. I'm Alec. Yeah. Alec," he sputtered. "Are you British? Your accent is sexy," the stranger said, eyeing Alec, " I'm Magnus Bane." God, even his name was exotic. Why was he talking to Alec? He was like Frank-N-Furter from Rocky Horror Picture Show: all sex and glam in a pair of leather pants. Alec was a stick in the mud, he didn't ever do anything. He lived to take care of his family. He didn't even feel like he had an identity, his life had no worth.

Magnus looked at Alec knowingly. "Something is wrong. I can tell. Well, we aren't strangers anymore Alec, you can spill your guts to me if you'd like," he said. The words themselves were joking, but his tone conveyed understanding. Alec looked at Magnus for a while. His eyes had so much emotion behind them that he felt he could tell him anything. "I feel like I don't have anything going for me. I spend my life taking care of my siblings, that's all I am. A mother hen. I've never done anything for myself. I've never drank, I don't even like parties. I just come so that Jace and Izzy don't get hurt. I've never just done something because I wanted to, and I guess being here makes me think about it," he said, looking from his shoes to Magnus. Magnus looked him in the eyes and smiled. "What do you want to do?" Alec chuckled at this, throwing his hands in the air. "I don't even know, that's the thing! I want to drink and eat a whole carton of ice cream and get my lip pierced and just be a freaking teenager instead of a 40 year old woman with three kids!" Alec was blushing, he didn't mean to tell Magnus all of his woes, but Magnus just looked amused and like he understood him. "Well, Alec, I propose you do one of those things. I'll even take you," his eyes lit up," Do you have proper paperwork?"

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><p>Alec couldn't believe he was doing this. After making sure that Izzy and Jace were okay to stay at the party for a few hours, him and Magnus rode off in his car to Alec's house so that he could get his birth certificate. He came back out of the house with the document in hand until Magnus took it from him. As Alec was driving, Magnus was reading his birth certificate. "Well, hello Mr. Liar-liar-pants-on-fire. You said your name is Alec. It states here that your name is Alexander Gideon Lightwood," he said smirking. Alec never told anyone his name was Alexander. Only his parents called him that, and Alec hated the way it sounded in their mouth. Magnus, on the other hand, said it like he was saying the name of a deity. Alec smiled at him, " Well, no one calls me that. Alec is my nickname." Alec could see Magnus smiling at him from the corner of his eye. "Well, I'm not everyone."<p>

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><p>He had Magnus's hand in a death grip. He was sitting in a chair with his eyes squeezed shut with a clamp on his lower lip. The peircer told him to take a deep breath and shoved in the needle, then followed it through with a silver barbell. Magnus was laughing," You can open your eyes now, Alexander." Alec felt a shiver run down his spine when Magnus said his name, and he peeked through his lashes at the mirror in front of him. The lip stud actually looked really good on him, so Alec smiled at Magnus and paid the piercer.<p>

They ended up at a park right beside Ragnor's house, swinging and laughing. Alec had never felt more alive than now with Magnus, and that scared him. He didn't want to be hurt anymore, and Magnus was just so beautiful and pefect that Alec didn't understand why he was speaking to him.

"Let's play 20 questions," Magnus said, raking a hand through his glittery spikes. Alec mumbled an okay at him. "What's something I would be surprised to know about you?" Alec thought for a bit. "I'm a vegitarian?" it came out as a question and Magnus indeed did look slightly shocked. His eyes glazed over with a look of pain slightly before going back to normal. Alec just decided to ask a question instead of bringing it up. "Favorite book?" And it went on like that for hours, them speaking and laughing.

When Alec finally walked away from the park to go home with Iz and Jace, he didn't realize he left behind a battered old notebook that held his secrets at the park and a boy who wanted to solve the puzzle.

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><p><strong>Well, I hope you liked it. <strong>


	5. Chapter 5: Negative Creep

**A/N: Dude, I'm really bad at author's notes. Like, I forget about them and stuff. Sorry about the wait, I was out of state for a while. Excuses, excuses. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the songs, artists, characters, movies, or products that I happen to mention. I totally suck at these too. BUT! I do own the poem in this chapter.**

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><p>Chapter 5: Negative Creep-<p>

Magnus looked at the retreating figure of Alexander Lightwood. He walked slowly with his head hung, like he hoped no one would notice him. As if it was possible not to notice such a stunning creature. He swung, higher and higher, smiling to himself. He hadn't expected the boy to talk to him, much less spend the day getting to know one another. Alexander reminded him so much of his mother- the shy smile, his sweet temperament. He even was a vegetarian, just as his mother was. She would always tell Magnus that all things, big or small, deserved the gift of life. Magnus's heart stuttered and he winced in pain; now was not a time to think of such things.

He jumped out of the swings, landing lightly on his toes with his arms spread wide like a child from a fairy-tale. He bent down to retrieve his glittery hand bag when he noticed a battered black notebook sitting next to an even rattier grey bag. Alexander must have left them behind in his hurry to find his siblings. He was such a sweet and dutiful brother; Magnus didn't think that his siblings even deserved Alexander's attention. He picked up the notebook and looked at its worn cover. He found himself opening the scratched cardboard cover of the notebook curiously. The inside cover indeed had 'Alec Lightwood' written in a thin, spindly font. Magnus found himself smiling while looking at the first page, recognizing several song lyrics.

_"She eyes me like a Pisces when I am weak, I've been locked inside this heart-shaped box for weeks."_

_"I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me?"_

_"After Jesus and rock and roll couldn't save my moral soul, well I've got nothing left to lose."_

_"If home is where the heart is then we're all just fucked."_

_"I never thought I'd die alone, another six months and I'll be unknown."_

Magnus turned the page, his eyebrow furrowed. His eyes scanned the page and the smile on his face dropped.

_Out-landed__-_

_Your punches to my body_

_will never hurt as much_

_as the blows to my heart_

_Your words fill me with venom_

_but never enough to completely fill my veins_

_or make my heart stop_

_because you like to watch me writhe in pain_

_If you'd peel back my layers_

_like I was made of paper mache_

_you'd see that the cigarette ash on my tongue_

_doesn't take enough of my breath away_

_But I still have to try_

_Because sleeping pills stopped working_

_and razors become dull_

_and no matter how many times _

_I beg the muscle inside of my chest _

_to just stop pumping life into me_

_it just won't_

_Because it's inside of a cage_

_just like me_

_Can't you see that behind all the broken ribs_

_and bruised eyes_

_that I'm drowning in my own life force_

_And my thighs are littered with lines_

_that aren't on a road map_

_And my hair hides my eyes_

_because on the inside I'm screaming_

_And the food that I eat_

_always comes back up_

_because I just want to waste away_

_until I'm gone_

_And my dreams are filled with broken sighs_

_And demons that still possess me when I'm awake_

_So I have these rings under my eyes_

_And I wish I was Saturn_

_But instead I'm a human_

_with nothing but nothing but nothing_

_but skin_

_and teeth_

_and scabs_

_and hair_

Magnus's eyes welled with tears as he read the boy's words. Magnus felt the familiar caress of anxiety setting in as he realized what the words meant; Alexander had something seriously wrong with him. With a shaking hand, he turned the next page and began to read more of Alexander's beautiful words. While they were melancholy and explained beautifully terrible things, they were indeed mesmerizing. They had a soothing and rhythmic flow to them, making you feel as if the words were alive. Magnus found himself awestruck at the boy's ability as his words sank into Magnus's skin.

After reading all of the pages that were filled, Magnus looked around to see that many people were leaving Ragnor's. His eyebrows shot up when he realized he had stayed at the park for the duration of the party. Hopefully Ragnor wouldn't be too insulted. With a sigh, he heaved Alexander's heavy book bag over his shoulder. He supposed he could just give Alexander back his notebook and not say anything about reading it. He didn't want to scare the boy away by Magnus jumping him with questions.

As he walked towards his shiny purple motorcycle, he felt determination building in the pit of his stomach. Alexander was obviously dealing with something huge that pushed him into a state of depression that was written all over his very being. Magnus was intrigued by the shy teenager, who obviously wasn't happy with himself. Magnus was going to find out what was wrong with him, and Alexander was going to let him inside of his walls. He would save the beautiful boy.

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><p>Alec opened the door quietly, smiling to himself. He didn't even mind that he had to help Izzy <em>and<em> Jace inside, both of them being to inebriated to walk. He laid them into their respective beds and tucked them in, leaving a glass of water on their nightstands. After checking on Max, he walked into his bedroom. He flopped onto his bed, pulling out his iPod and shoving in his earphones. He smiled, thinking about the evening he spent with Magnus; the beautiful, exotic boy was so much more enticing than Alec believed in the beginning. He never thought Magnus would even take a second glance at him, but Magnus proved him wrong many times tonight. Everything about Magnus was an enigma, making Alec want to uncover his secrets. He wanted to know everything about the fascinating person named Magnus Bane.

He was yanked out of the perfect daydream by a large hand being wrapped around his upper arm, ripping him out of his bed and roughly shoving him down to the ground. Alec looked up at the towering figure of his father and pulled out his headphones. Robert was looking down at his first born with malice and anger. He took a handful of Alec's hair and pulled, making Alec look up at a greater angle. "Would you care to explain why, on the night of my business meeting, you were out? You're lucky that my clients couldn't visit the home today. Did you even _think_ about how it would look if my own children weren't home?" Robert let go of Alec's hair, making his head drop slightly. He attempted to get up, only to fall to his knees clutching his side when Robert brought his foot down on Alec's ribs. Alec's breath caught and he inhaled roughly, searching for air that wouldn't come. Robert's foot continued to slam into Alec's side and Alec heaved for breath, his vision going blurry. _Just let me die. _Black spots entered his sight and enveloped him completely, finally letting him forget about the pain.

He woke with a start and gasped in pain. He was lying on the floor in his crumpled clothes from the previous night. He forced himself to get up and assess the damage. He limped in front of the bathroom mirror and took off his shirt, revealing his blackened torso. He gently touched his rib-cage, wincing when a sharp bolt of pain stabbed through his chest, making his breath come out labored. He went to his medicine cabinet and took double the amount of pain medication that was recommended. He threw on his most comfortable and worn out sweater and, after letting the medicine kick in, he went to wake up his siblings and make them breakfast.

After the usual hectic morning routine, they arrived to the school where a very scandalously dressed Magnus was waiting for him by his locker with Alec's bag in his hand. His leg was hiked up against the locker door and he had his arms crossed. His entire face broke out into a smile when he saw Alec. Alec blushed, smiling back at him. "Hello, Sayang," Magnus said, handing it to him. Alec's eyebrows knitted together. "What does that mean?" Magnus just laughed. "Something good, don't worry."

Alec spent the first few hours of school trying to hide his discomfort, hoping that if he ignored the pain, it would go away.

He came to the soccer field earlier than the other boys to avoid the awkwardness that was a closeted gay boy in the boy's locker room. After changing and grabbing a ball, he went to the field and began running drills. The smallest movement sent pain jabbing into his chest and he quickly found himself running out of breath. A movement out of the corner of his eye made Alec turn to find Magnus on the edge of the field, looking at Alec with concern. "Are you okay?," Magnus yelled at him from across the green grass. Alec tried nodding but it came out as a sort of wobble. Magnus started walking towards him, and Alec started to run so he could meet him halfway until a huge jolt of pain hit him. He stopped, grabbing his side and heaving in heavy breaths through his mouth. Everything was quickly becoming blurry and he dropped to his knees. Magnus rushed over to his side, holding his face gently between his hands. The last thing he saw was a pair of green eyes looking into his until unconsciousness took him.

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><p><strong>Yeah, I know, I suck. Cliffhanger. Yadda yadda. I'm evil :) I hope you enjoy or whatever I'm supposed to say to sound nice. Revieewwwwsss make the worrrlllldddd go rooouunnnnd.<strong>


	6. Chapter 6: Bullet With Butterfly Wings

**AN: God, you guys! I'm so overwhelmed. I got a lot of positive feedback and it meant a lot. I also got a lot of PMs about the poem I wrote. It means a lot that people could connect with it, it is deeply personal. This chapter is sort of short and stuff, but I'll update again tonight probably. The lovely effects of insomnia. **

**Disclaimer: I for shizz don't own anything guys.**

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><p>Chapter 6: Bullet With Butterfly Wings<p>

Magnus was _screaming_ into his phone, attempting to tell the first response operator just what the hell even happened. He really didn't know what was happening but he did know that Alexander was currently unconscious on the dry grass. He didn't know if it was okay to move him, so he just settled for holding his cold pale hand with both of his own. He _definitely _didn't understand what happened to Alexander. It was terrifying seeing him in this state.

As the ambulance pulled up and put Alexander inside, Magnus was throwing a rather dramatic hissy fit because _he was going to ride with him, thank you very much._ They reluctantly allowed him to ride because he was with Alexander when the incident happened. On the ride there, they were shouting medical terms that Magnus didn't understand and started checking Alexander's vitals. At least he had vitals to check.

As they reached the hospital, they wheeled Alexander off in a cot and left Magnus in the lobby to attempt to reach his family. Magnus sighed and pulled out his iPhone, calling up the one person who had practically everyone's number. "Hey pretty-boy," Ragnor said. Ragnor and Magnus had been friends since Magnus moved here, and even though he was annoying and insufferable at times, he was a very good friend. "Ragnor! I need Isabelle Lightwood's number!" Ragnor laughed," Okay, calm yourself. You can hook up with her at any time." Magnus was getting impatient. "No, I will not calm myself! This isn't about some stupid hook-up, her brother Alexander is seriously hurt! He's in the hospital and I need to get to his family." "Well, someone has it bad," Ragnor said suggestively," for sexy British shy boy over there. But, before you kill me, I shall text you her number. I expect an update on the new crush. Toodaloo." Magnus would have laughed if the situation wasn't so dire.

Magnus's phone chimed and he nervously tapped on the number Ragnor sent him. A very aggravated feminine voice answered the phone," Who the hell is this? It had better be damn important because I'm in class." Magnus cleared his throat. "It's Magnus Bane. I know you haven't met me, but I'm friends with your brother and he got hurt. He's in the hospital." Isabelle sucked in a breath and was quiet for a while. "Okay. Give me 20 minutes to get Jace and Max. I'll be there."

Magnus had to admit, Isabelle was pretty impressive. She marched straight through the door 8 minutes later with a very angry looking Jace and a small boy who looked a lot like Alec. Jace walked towards Magnus, pointing his finger at him. "What the hell happened to Alec?" Magnus felt his face draw into a tight expression and he pulled himself to his full height. "Okay, first off, you can take your hand out of my space. Secondly, I don't know what happened. He was on the soccer field with me and he just passed out. Last, don't even act like I would do this to him or that it's somehow my fault. I care about Alexander." Jace looked stunned and his hand slowly made its way back to his side. He cleared his throat and looked at the ground. "Listen. I'm sorry. That was too much. I'm just really worried about him," Jace said quietly. Magnus nodded at him, " It's okay. Just, tell me what's going on when you find out. They won't let me back there because I'm not related to him." They all agreed and went off to the front desk to ask about Alexander. Magnus continued to pace.

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><p>Jace hated hospitals. They reminded him of the time that he spent as a child, constantly being taken to the cold buildings that smelled of sweet decay. His childhood had been anything but ideal; his father was extremely abusive towards him. When his father was killed, he was taken in by the Lightwoods. The scared blonde boy felt so alone and excluded when he first came. Izzy was nice but he was grieving and Max was too young to have a conversation with. When Alec finally came back from summer camp with his black hair disheveled and a horrid sunburn, Jace finally felt a part of the family. Him and Alec became close and he finally felt what it was like to be loved unconditionally.<p>

Now, looking at the pale form of his brother unconscious and hooked to several machines, he felt something deep within him shatter. He tasted salty tears but made no move to wipe at them, instead he held Alec's hand and tuned everyone else out. As they began growing, Alec helped each one of them grow and took care of them. He also started to withdraw, and Jace worried about him constantly. Izzy's fingers snapping in front of his face drew him out of his reverie. "Jace, did you listen to the doctor? He said that Alec will be fine. He has a few broken ribs but he will be okay. I'm going to go tell Magnus," Izzy said, opening to heavy wooden door. "How did this happen?," Jace asked the doctor. The doctor had greying hair and kind brown eyes. "Well, I'm not sure. It definitely had to be a lot of force to break his ribs. We will just have to ask Alexander when he wakes up. I've given him some morphine so he will be unconscious for a few hours, but he can leave after that." Jace thanked the doctor.

Max, who had tears falling onto his thick glasses, came over and held Jace's hand. "It's okay Jace. We will be okay."

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><p>Izzy came up to Magnus looking a little relieved. "Hey, so Alec will be just fine. He has a few broken ribs, but he will be awake in a few hours," She came closer to Magnus and crossed her arms, smirking. "You like him, don't you? Oh my God you so do. You guys would be so cute together," She exclaimed. Magnus laughed at her crazy behavior. "I would disagree, but it's quite obvious. I haven't known him for very long, but he is striking and I'm certainly intrigued. I would like to continue to get to know him," Magnus admitted. Izzy smiled at this. "Good answer. I love your jeans!" Magnus decided he liked Isabelle Lightwood. "So, Alec will be out for a while, and I can't handle being in there with him like that. What do you propose we do," Izzy asked him. Magnus smiled wide at her," I have an idea."<p>

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><p><strong>Oh Magnus, you and your scheming ways.<strong>


	7. Chapter 7: Head Like A Hole

**AN: I updated hella quick. I hope you enjoy the chapter! **

**Disclaimer: blah blah Don't own anything blah blah**

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><p>Chapter 7: Head Like A Hole<p>

Alec was faintly aware of a very annoying beeping in his ear. He groaned and opened his eyes to a white ceiling and blinked, trying to rid his mind of the unfamiliar image. He ran his hands over scratchy sheets. "Alec, by the angel, I'm so glad you're awake." Jace was sitting on a blue plastic chair beside the bed he was on. He looked around and the memories came flooding back: he passed out due to the pain of his side injury that his father caused and now he was in the hospital. "You're going to be fine but you did break a few ribs. The doctor taped them up. You're lucky that Magnus was with you and called the ambulance," Jace said. Alec's eyes grew wide. "Magnus brought me?" Magnus probably thought Alec was a freak or something. "Yeah, he's been really worried. I'm supposed to drive you home after we fill out some paper work and they check on you. Izzy is at home and she didn't bother telling Mom or Dad. They're out on business again, anyways."

The doctor came in and smiled at Alec. He had grey hair and soft brown eyes. "Hello, Alexander. I'm sure your brother here told you what was going on, but I wanted to ask a few questions and check you out to make sure everything is okay to go. Alright, so could you tell me how you got this injury?" Alec looked down at his hands and tried to think of a believable excuse. "Um. I-I... I was at a party with my siblings and I fell down some steps at the party." That seemed believable enough. Jace's eyes tightened, but he didn't say anything. The doctor checked out his injury and made him go through rigorous paperwork. He felt like he was signing away his soul.

When they finally finished, Jace drove Alec's car to their home and they chatted. Jace told him about Clary; he felt she was different. Alec was really surprised, he had never heard his brother talk about a girl the way he spoke of Clary. "So, have you found any girls you're interested in," Jace asked him. Alec closed his eyes. He just wanted to tell him so bad, but he was terrified that Jace wouldn't accept him.

_A blonde boy was crying in the corner of the room, holding a wooden soldier in his hands. Alec walked over to him and sat crisscross in front of the boy. His hair looked like it was weaved out of silk made from fragments of sunlight. Every part of him was golden. "I like your soldier. I read a story about a soldier," Alec told the boy. The boy sniffled, looking up at Alec. "What was the story about?," he asked quietly. "This boy's father was a soldier and he died in the war. The boy wanted to be just like his father and die a noble death, but he realized that death isn't noble and that it was just a part of humanity. It was a good book, but I don't really agree with it. Some people die a tragic death, and some people die because the world is a better place without them in it," Alec told him. "My father died. He hurt me and I don't know if I'll be better without him here," Jace said quietly. "Well, I think if he hurt you then he didn't deserve to have you in his life. My name is Alec." The golden boy looked up at him and smiled. "I'm Jace. Do you want to play soldiers?"_

Alec opened his eyes and blinked tears away. "Alec, are you okay," Jace asked him, pulling into the drive. "Jace, I'm gay," Alec said quietly. Jace looked at him and smiled. "I figured. I hoped asking about girls would make you tell me." Alec's eyes grew wide. "Wait, so you're okay with it?" Jace nodded and laughed," Dude, you're my brother," he said, as if it was all the explanation needed. They sat in silence for a little while before Alec hugged Jace. Jace didn't hesitate to hug him back and they stayed like that for God knows how long.

Alec walked inside and saw Izzy and Max sitting on bar stools in the kitchen. They both ran up and hugged him, questioning about what happened. After dodging a few questions he began to make dinner before Izzy stopped him. "Go up to your room for a while, okay? We will order take out or something." Alec eyed her suspiciously, but decided to listen to her because arguing with Isabelle Lightwood was never a good idea.

He opened the trapdoor to his bedroom and his jaw fell slack. The ceiling of his room was covered in glow-in-the-dark stars of varying sizes and twinkling lights were draped across everything. There were candles and little Chinese lanterns around the room. In the corner of his room on his bed sat Magnus Bane, looking at Alec. "Did you do this?," Alec asked him, whispering. He felt like this place was out of a fairy tale. Magnus smiled and nodded. "Well, I felt like you had been through hell so you might as well come back to something pretty," he said, pointing to himself. Alec laughed loud enough to embarrass himself and Magnus smiled at him. "This is beautiful," Alec said, sitting on the bed next to Magnus," It looks like something out of a book." Magnus laughed and looked him in the eyes. "Tapi anda adalah salah satu dari dongeng, Sayang," Magnus said and Alec swore that if it was possible to orgasm out of just listening to words, he would have then. "Wow. Um. So, you speak another language?," Alec asked him, half out of genuine curiosity and half out of keeping himself from jumping Magnus. "I'm half Indonesian and I grew up in Indonesia," Magnus told Alec. Magnus had a distant look in his eyes. "It sounds beautiful. What did you say?" Magnus looked at Alec with a look that he couldn't place. "I said that I'm a fabulous interior designer," he said. Alec smiled at him shyly. "Let's go order some take out," said Alec.

Piles of Chinese food boxes and several Star Wars movies later, and Alec was basically cuddling with Magnus. He hadn't realized that they were so close but he wasn't going to complain. Magnus was laughing at the movie and Alec watched him. He wanted to capture Magnus smiling and laughing; the way his eyes crinkled and his nose scrunched. He realized he had been caught watching him and tried to look away, but Magnus captured his chin between his fingers. "You have the most gorgeous eyes," Magnus whispered, slowly leaning down to Alec. They were so close that he could feel Magnus's hot breath on his face and he breathed in the sweet scent of him. Suddenly a door slamming closed by Izzy brought them apart. Magnus got up and smiled at Alec. "I should probably go, it's getting late. But, before I go, give me your phone," he said, handing Alec his own phone. They swapped numbers and Alec walked Magnus to the door. As the door closed on him, Magnus smiled at Alec and walked slowly backwards towards his car.

Alec held his phone to his chest and smiled, leaning against the door. Izzy came and cleared her throat and Alec blushed. "You like him! Oh my god and he likes you!" She was squealing and Alec had to admit that inside of his head pretty much sounded the same. He just rolled his eyes and walked up to his bedroom. His phone chimed and he swiped his phone unlocked.

**Magnus ;): Well gorgeous, I do hope you sleep well and you feel better, goodnight Sayang!**

Alec blushed and squealed, though he would never admit it.

_Alec: Goodnight, Magnus. Thank you for everything. I'm really glad I got to see you tonight. _

Alec laid on his bed, looking at the human-made constellations on his ceiling and for once went to sleep feeling like maybe his life was looking up.

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><p><strong>Translation to what Magnus actually said: "But you are the one out of a fairy tale, darling." I totes stole it from Google translate, so sorry if it isn't grammatically correct. Thanks for reading, and if you could, please review!<strong>


	8. Chapter 8: Interstate Love Song

**Author's Note: Hello lovelies, here's a new chapter. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own shit, man.**

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><p>Chapter 8: Interstate Love Song<p>

The next few weeks had been the happiest Alec has ever been. He spent every day with Magnus, laughing and finding out things about one another. He felt himself opening up to Magnus, telling him things that he hadn't ever shared before.

Alec was sitting on the floor of Magnus's apartment, playing with his cat Chairman Meow. Magnus had left the room a while ago to get something and Alec spotted a ball of white on one of Magnus's jackets. Alec heard a door close and he turned around to see Magnus dressed in a tank top and pajama shorts holding a notebook and a pencil box in his hands. Alec's eyes lingered on the curve of Magnus's thighs and Alec's cheeks grew red when Magnus raised his eyebrow. Magnus sat down crisscross on his couch and began doing something in his notebook. Alec continued to play with Chairman until he heard the doorbell ring. He and Magnus looked at each other and they both got up and ran to the door, pushing the other away. Alec answered the door, holding Magnus back with one of his legs, to reveal a very confused looking pizza delivery guy. "Alexander! I will end you if you dare give that pizza guy the money!" Alec had to laugh at this, seeing as Magnus didn't look very threatening in his hot pink shorts. Alec pulled out his wallet and payed the guy, taking the pizza box in his hands. Magnus kicked Alec lightly on his behind, sticking out his tongue and taking the pizza box from him and heading to his living room.

When Alec entered the living room Magnus was leaned against the back of his couch, looking at Alec and smiling. "Don't look at me like that! I can pay when I want to," Alec said smiling. Magnus only smiled wider and slowly walked towards Alec until he was right in front of him. Magnus reached out and grabbed Alec's hands and walked with him until Alec was pressed right against a wall. Alec's breathing sped up. Magnus leaned forward until his body was pressed against Alecs and he raised their intertwined hands above Alec's head. "I really want to kiss you right now," Magnus said, leaning his forehead against Alec's. Alec blushed and felt his face break into a goofy grin. "I-I-I reall-ly want to k-kiss you too," Alec said quietly. Magnus sucked in a breath and leaned down slowly.

The ringing of Alec's phone made Magnus jump and roll his eyes. "Go ahead and answer it, Sayang. I suppose that is the universe telling me not to kiss you yet," he said, winking. Alec answered to phone and had to clear his throat. "H-Hello?" Magnus laughed at his voice squeaking and Alec glared at him. "Hey Alec, Mom and Dad are home and are asking where you are! I'm covering for you the best I can but you really need to come home!" Izzy sounded nervous and Alec's face dropped. He said okay and hung up the phone. He told Magnus what was going on and got his stuff together. When Magnus walked Alec to the door, Alec quickly embraced Magnus into a hug before leaving.

To be honest, Alec had pretty much forgotten about his parents these last few weeks. He had been living in the moment, enjoying his time with Magnus and his siblings. Now, he was incredibly nervous to see his parents. He didn't want them to know about Magnus or his sexuality because he knew how his father would react. He didn't understand why his father was the way he was. Spending these last few weeks with Magnus made Alec realize that it wasn't okay what his father was doing to him, and he didn't deserve it. Alec was becoming more comfortable in his own skin and his confidence was a little better. He slowly began to realize that his sexuality was a part of him and it was a beautiful thing; he had nothing wrong with him. He had the ability to love another human being. In this universe, love was trivialized and put down to be something of lesser importance, but to Alec, it was the most important thing human beings were capable of.

Alec took a deep breath and opened the door to his house. He went to the kitchen to find his siblings and his parents sitting around the island. "Hey," Alec said to his parents. "Hello Alexander," his mother said to him, smiling slightly. Alec sat down and his father looked at him. "Where were you?," his father said. Alec decided to tell them the truth because Magnus was becoming a big part of Alec's life. "I was with Magnus," he said, and for once in his life, his voice didn't waver. "Who is that? You have a friend?," his mother asked, looking genuinely shocked. "Yeah, something like that," Alec said, blushing," His name is Magnus Bane and he goes to school here." His father finally spoke up. "Well, I find it hard to believe that you have a friend." Alec's mother looked astonished and her eyes darted between Alec and Robert. "How the hell could you say that? It's not like you even pay attention to any of us, so don't act like you know anything about Alec," Izzy said, getting up from the stool she was sitting with. "Isabelle, don't you dare speak to me like that," Robert said. "We will only be here for tonight, so please just try and calm down," his mother said sternly. Alec felt his face draw in a tight line. "No. I won't calm down. I'm sick of pretending that everything is okay. Izzy is right, you don't know anything about me," Alec said, getting up and leaving the kitchen. He felt tears roll down his face and he went to his bedroom and locked the trap door.

Throughout the rest of the night, there were bangs on the door but he ignored them. He wasn't going to let his father hurt him anymore. He was tired of being ashamed of who he was. He loved a man, so what? Magnus was a beautiful person and he meant _so much_ to Alec. His eyes grew wide when he thought this. _Did he really just admit that he loved Magnus?_

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><p><strong>Ahhh he loves him, what will he do now? Please review and shit!<strong>


	9. Chapter 9: Wax Ecstatic

**Author's Note: Dude, thanks for reviewing and crap. Here's another chapter. I hope you enjoy it.**

**Disclaimer: Do I even have to say that I don't own shit? Yes? Still? Okay, I totally don't own anything. I just make Cassie's characters do dirty things.**

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><p>Chapter 9: Wax Ecstatic<p>

"Magnus, are you listening to me?," Ragnor said, waving his hand in front of Magnus's face. "Mmmhmm, yeah, she's a total bitch," Magnus said, absentmindedly. "You do realize I was talking about my grandma and not gossiping, right?," Ragnor said laughing. Magnus just waved his hand in a dismissive manor and continued to look for his blue eyed beauty in the crowded hall of the high-school. "God, you lovesick fool," Ragnor said.

Alexander finally entered the building, tentatively looking around. When he met eyes with Magnus, his face broke into a grin that Magnus mirrored. Magnus noticed that Alexander was moving as if he was in pain and he raised a quizzical eyebrow. Alexander grabbed Magnus by his arm and walked with him to the door. He turned around and looked absolutely terrified. "What happened to you?," Magnus said, trying and failing to sound nonchalant. Alexander smiled slightly and played with the sleeves of his grey sweater. "How opposed to skipping school with me are you?," Alexander asked.

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><p>Alexander was currently pacing his room in front of Magnus. Magnus had tried to calm him down a little, but just decided to let him come to terms with whatever he was doing. His room was still decorated in the glow-in-the-dark stars and lights everywhere. Alexander suddenly stopped pacing and looked Magnus dead in the eye. "I'm about to tell you something. Something really big and horrible. Just... hear me out, okay? Hear me out before you run off or anything," Alexander said, pulling in a huge breath. He started undoing his pants and Magnus's eyes grew wide. "Um, what-" Alexander cut him off," I'm not like stripping for you. I just have to show you something," Alexander blushed when he realized what he said," I'm not showing you my willy!" Magnus thought he was probably the cutest thing in the universe. He unzipped his pants and pulled them down to his ankles, stepping out of them. His boxers were black and Magnus wanted him so badly that it hurt. Alexander looked at Magnus and pulled in a deep breath. "I'm not okay, Magnus. I have a lot wrong with me and there is a lot that has happened and is still happening to me that I deal with. But I really have to tell you because I can't pretend that I'm okay and keep letting you get close to me without knowing," Alexander said, as he raised up the bottoms of his boxers to the tops of his thighs.<p>

At first, all Magnus could look at was his beautiful legs, then he started spotting dark bruises on his calves and thighs. He looked closer and saw thick white lines completely covering his thighs and Magnus sucked in a sharp breath. He felt like he was going to pass out. "Oh Alexander," he said while a tear rolled down his cheek," You are so beautiful." Alexander looked completely confused and before he could say anything, Magnus got up off the bed and grabbed him. He pulled Alexander flush to his body and caught Alexander's lips in his own. He kissed him with everything he had in him. Alexander gasped in surprise and Magnus probed Alexander's tounge with his own. Alexander made a small moan in the back of his throat and kissed Magnus back. It was sloppy and so perfect. Alexander continued to part Magnus's lips with his own while Magnus ran his hands all over Alexander's body. When Magnus pulled slightly on his hair, Alexander bit down on Magnus's lip and the kiss started to build. Everywhere Alexander touched left a trail of fire behind. Magnus jumped in surprise when Alexander's hands found their way under his shirt. He hummed into the kiss while Alexander trailed his fingertips along Magnus's torso. He had rucked up Magnus's shirt so much that Magnus just took it off, parting the kiss. Alexander looked at Magnus's naked torso with desire and he tentatively reached out and splayed his hand flat on Magnus's stomach. He ran his eyes up Magnus's body until blue met green and the world stopped. "I love you," Alexander said, his voice unwavering," I love you, damn it and I can't do anything about it. This world is filled with horrid things and the sun keeps shining and we keep revolving around it and I love you. I know that I'm messed up and that I don't truly understand myself sometimes but I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you, and I will always love you, even if you don't love me and you never want to see me again, I will always love you."

Magnus couldn't speak. He felt tears rolling down his face freely now. He felt like his legs were made of jelly so he sat on the floor, followed by Alexander. He sobbed and held Alexander to his body and tried so hard to speak but all that came out were sobs. Alexander just let him cry on his chest and ran his fingers through Magnus's hair. He didn't know how long they stayed like that. Magnus finally calmed down and drew away from Alexander. His eyes were red and there were tear stains on his pale face.

"I lived in a small village in Indonesia with my mother and father. My father used to beat me and my mother when he came back from harvesting for the day. My mother was so beautiful. Her skin was caramel colored and her hair was black and she had beautiful golden eyes. Her name was Kasarna, which means beautiful melody. She used to take me to a creek by our home and sing to me while I would braid her hair. She was so kind and she was my world. She used to tell me a story about how the ants touched the grass and the grass touched the sky and the sky touched the heavens. 'Everything is connected.' She would say that all the time. She made me forget about what was waiting at home, even if it was only a few hours. One night, my father came home drunk and in a rage. He came in and just stabbed my mother where she stood and I held her as she died. I ran away and he chased me to the lake where he tried to drown me. I took the knife he had in his hands and stabbed him with it. My uncle Xeno took custody of me and I moved to the States," Magnus was crying again, recounting that awful night. All he could picture was his mother's blood on him. "She was the only person in my life that loved me. She told me every single day how much I meant to her. I thought I would never feel love again, and I came to terms with it. I drank and partied and didn't care about anything. And damn it, now you come along with your blue eyes and your blush and tell me how much I mean to you and how you love me. I feel like my entire life has been flipped upside down by you and I wouldn't have it any other way because I'm in love with you Alexander. I'm in love with you completely and immensely. Aku cinta camu, Alexander. Anda adalah matahari bagiku, Sayang. Saya melihat Anda tersenyum dan rusak setiap bagian dari diriku berkeping-keping karena keindahan seperti itu hanya tidak ada."

Alexander was crying and smiling, holding Magnus's face between his hands. He got up from the floor and helped Magnus get up. "Can you stay tonight? I don't want to do anything, just sleep in the same bed and wake up next to you," Alexander asked him quietly, blushing and looking down at his feet. Magnus just grabbed his hand and led him to the bed. They laid down underneath the covers next to one another with their limbs tangled together. "I love you Magnus," Alexander whispered. "As I love you, Alexander." They drifted to sleep in each others arms.

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><p><strong>Translation: You are the sun to me, darling. I watch you smile and it breaks every single part of me into a million pieces because beauty like that just doesn't exist. Jacked it from Google Translate, so it's probably not grammatically correct buuuut.<strong>


	10. Chapter 10: Careful With That Axe Eugene

**Author's Note: Here is another chapter! Thanks to everyone for reviewing and a special thanks to love-ice-rose for still reviewing for every single chapter! You're the !**

**Disclaimer: Fuck you Cassie, I own everything.**

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><p>Chapter 10: Careful With That Axe, Eugene<p>

Alec's eyes opened slowly, blinking the sleep away. Sighing, he opened them completly and stifled a yawn. He had to get up and wake up his siblings. When he attempted to get out of his bed, he was stopped short by a pair of tanned arms around him. _Magnus. _The memories of yesterday flooded back to him and he felt his cheeks heat up. He had been so bold, just telling Magnus what was on his mind without really thinking. He almost went into a coma when Magnus didn't flee, instead admitting his feelings and sharing a rather heartfelt story.

Alec wondered how Magnus dealt with the loss of his mother. Alec had never been close with his parents, but Magnus was incredibly close with his mother. Alec couldn't imagine losing someone who was so close to you, but Magnus was so strong. He just kept his head held high and went through life like he owned the entire world and if you questioned him, he was going to own you too.

He almost hadn't told Magnus anything. He was so worried that Magnus wouldn't feel the same or that it was way too early for him to even be feeling this, but he knew it wasn't some fleeting emotion that would go away. It was love, pure and simple. Magnus had taken Alec and showed him how beautiful life could be. He made him feel safe. _Loved._

When Magnus had told him he loved him as well, Alec felt the words fall heavy on his shoulders. It meant so much to have someone love you; to trust you with their hearts so fully and completely. He wanted to scream to the world that he was loved by such a gorgeous creature.

Magnus stirred in the bed behind him and he felt lips on the back of his neck, making gooseflesh rise and his breathing hitch. Alec rolled over to see Magnus, sans makeup, with his hair sticking up in all directions and sleepy eyes. "You are so perfect," Alec whispered. Magnus smiled and kissed his forehead. He pulled back and bit his lip slightly. "Alexander, I didn't want to ask yesterday because you were so worked up, but... Sayang, what made you do those things to yourself?," Magnus asked quietly, his voice still clouded with sleep. Alec looked away and closed his eyes. He knew Magnus would want an explaination but it was just so much to tell. His parents careers and futures could be ruined if he were to tell someone what was going on. His own mother and siblings didn't know, and he didn't know if it was possible to even say what had been happening. He felt a tear roll down his cheek and Magnus's lips caught it. "Shh, no, Alexander, you don't have to tell me anything. You just tell me when you're ready. I just want to know that you won't hurt yourself like that anymore. I can't handle the thought of you hurt, darling." Alec's breathing calmed and he turned towards Magnus, kissing him lightly. "Thank you for everything, Mags. I love you," he said against Magnus's lips, "We have to get up and get ready." He started untangling his limbs from Magnus's and pulling a very tired looking Magnus out of his bed. "Can I borrow your clothes, Sayang?," Magnus asked, already looking through his wardrobe. Alec laughed," Sure, knock yourself out."

Alec put on a green sweater while walking down the stairs. He usually wouldn't wear something so colourful, but it reminded him of Magnus's eyes. He woke up Jace and Izzy, letting them fight over the shower. He didn't exactly know how to explain Magnus being there, so he just avoided it until he started making breakfast and Izzy came in with her hair in a towel. "Um, so Magnus is here. Just so you know," Alec said in greeting. Izzy's eyes grew wide and her smile grew even wider. "No. Fucking. Way. You did not sleep with him! My baby brother is growing up," she said, running over to hug a very embarrassed Alec. He shoved her away. "I'm older than you! No! We didn't have sex! I just... wanted to hang out with him," Alec said, not wanting to explain the entire situation with Izzy. She smirked but stayed quiet. Jace walked in laughing. "Who didn't Alec have sex with? And why are we discussing his sex life? Or, should I say, the absence of a sex life?," Jace said smugly. Alec's face was burning and it only got worse when Magnus walked in the kitchen without a shirt on, holding two articles of Alec's clothing in each hand. Jace busted up laughing, followed by Izzy. Alec just scoweled and continued to flip pancakes. "Sayang, I need help choosing which sweater of yours to wear. These two are the only ones that don't have holes," Magnus said, holding up two sweaters. One was a navy blue one with a deep v-neck that Izzy bought him in the hopes of brightening his wardrobe and the other was a creme colour. By this point, Jace and Izzy were leaning against one another and laughing so hard they were crying. "Okay, am I missing something here?," Magnus asked. Alec turned off the stove and grabbed Magnus by the hand and left the kitchen, not missing Jace telling Alec to "Get in a quickie". Magnus started laughing when he heard it and slipped on the navy blue sweater. "Enough out of you!," Alec told him, but smiled nonetheless. "There is never enough of me," Magnus said, flexing his muscles.

Alec ran after the black and white ball, kicking it into the opposite net. The members of his team cheered and slapped Alec on the back. He was sweaty and tired and all he wanted was a shower. They had split the team down the middle to run a practice game and Alec's team won by a wide margin. As Alec walked into the locker room, he was shoved up against one of the lockers by Sebastian. He had been growing more hostile towards Alec, throwing threats and insults at him during practice, but this was a first. "Listen up, faggot, you're going to skip out on the next game, alright? I'm going to be playing in your position. If you don't, I'll beat your fucking ass," He said, letting go of Alec and walking away. Alec stayed there for a few moments trying to control his thoughts. What the hell had he ever done to Sebastian? It was enough to deal with abuse at home, now it looked like he was going to deal with it here as well.

Magnus was sitting in his usual spot in Calculus and Alec walked over to him. He leaned down and hugged him tightly before walking off and sitting down at his own desk. Magnus looked shocked at Alec's display of affection, but smiled at him from across the room nonetheless. When Alec was doing his assignment, a boy behind Alec tapped him on the shoulder and he turned around looked at the boy questioningly. "Are you with Magnus?," he asked. Alec blushed and looked down at his sleeves. "I don't know. I think so? I certainly hope so," he said quietly. The boy just smiled at him. "I'm pretty sure Magnus thinks so. He's been looking at you this whole class hour." Alec looked over at Magnus, making eye contact. He smiled and felt his cheeks redden.

So far, Alec's day had been recounting abuse, being embarrassed and then threatened with more abuse and he was slowly becoming more and more stressed. Magnus smiled back at Alec and he felt all of his worries fly out the window.

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><p><strong>I don't know how I felt about this chapter. It was a filler chapter, so I'm sorry! I just really wanted to update. I'll try to have some plot development in the next few chapters. <strong>


	11. Chapter 11: Machinehead

**Author's Note: Dude, I feel like I've been updating really fast. It's pretty rad. I ****apologize for the last couple of chapters- they definitely could have been better and they were rushed. Thanks everyone for the reviews! I totes don't own this even though I want to.**

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><p>Chapter 11: Machinehead<p>

Alec trained his eyes down towards his fork and knife, mumbling the words to a song. He had a half crazed look in his eye from not blinking. He had been staring at the cutlery placed neatly at intervals on the table for the past half hour, waiting for his father to come back in with his business partners. His siblings were all getting ready for the formal dinner, leaving Alec alone to cook in the kitchen. He had prepared a roast and potatoes as his father had demanded. Alec's thighs were burning and he could see the lines of blood seeping from his wounds into his jeans. He just wanted to die.

Before he had left to meet up with his business partners, he had called Alec into his office. Alec's palms were slick with sweat as he opened the dark wooden door of his father's office. Robert was sitting behind his desk with his hands clasped together in front him with his elbows resting on the hard wooden surface. Alec peeked his head in and cleared his throat. "You wanted to see me?," Alec asked quietly. His father's head snapped up at the sound of his son's voice and he gestured for him to sit down. He cleared his throat before looking at Alec. "Alexander, my colleges will be joining us for dinner tonight. I expect you to act like a good son should. I don't care if you have to act the part, pretend not to be a disappointment to me for one night. They will come here and think we are the perfect family and you will give them no inclination to think otherwise. You will play the part of the perfect son," his father finished with a hard edge to his eyes.

What little bit of confidence that Alec had built up in the last month or so was being ripped apart by his father's words. He nodded, not trusting himself to open his mouth for fear of breaking down in front of his father. "Now, I know that won't be too hard for you. You may leave," he added, looking away from Alec and down at some papers. Alec slowly got up from his chair, turning towards the door. "Oh, and Alexander, make a pot roast. Don't mess it up." Alec stopped for a minute and nodded, still turned towards the door. He finally gathered his wits and left the room.

He numbly walked through the maze of stairs and hallways leading to his room, opening the trap door and climbing up the ladder. His mind was in a haze while his body was moving of its own accord. The next thing he knew, he was on the floor to his bathroom, dragging a razor blade across his thighs. The blood was falling from the wounds onto the white tiles of his bathroom floor.

Why was he brought into this horrible world? He brought nothing but pain and disappointment to his family. He was a destructive force in this universe. He pushed the blade in deeper, wanting to destroy himself. As he tore his skin apart with the sharp edge of the blade, he didn't feel the usual numbing relief that it brought him. Instead, he felt hollow and guilty, wanting to just crawl into a corner and waste away.

Alec laid there on the cold bathroom floor before he decided to get up and fix the dinner for tonight. He bandaged his thighs and headed downstairs, keeping his headphones in. He had a vague realization that he had been playing the same song- Machinehead by Bush- over and over again, but he made no move to change the song. Instead, he focused on the tasks at hand. He only allowed himself to think enough to do the simplest tasks- cutting the vegetables, placing the meat in the stove, breathing. He hated that he had to even cook meat when his family knew how he felt about it. When he was 9 years old, he learned where meat came from. He cried for three days and ever since, he hadn't eaten meat.

And now, here he was, sitting at the table and studying the cutlery on the table. As the blood on his thighs began to spread more, he decided he should change for the dinner as well. He put on the smartest outfit he had- A blue button down and black slacks- and changed his bandages. Just as he came back into the kitchen and pulled out the cooked roast, his father entered the kitchen with two men. The first man had white hair and black eyes. His jawline was hard and his entire physic was threatening. The other man had swampy brown eyes and black hair. His chin was coated with a rather thick beard and his nose sloped crookedly. They both had a very hard edge to their faces, making Alec immediately not trust either man. "Alexander, these are my colleges. This is Mr. Valentine Morgenstern," he said, gesturing towards the man with the white hair," and this is Mr. James Blackheart," he gestured towards the man with the black hair. _Morgenstern._ So, he was related to Sebastian. He could definitely see the resemblance, not only in their features, but also in the way they clinched their jaws and the steely expression in their eyes. Alec plastered on a fake smile," Hello, it's very nice to meet you both." He shook both of their hands, putting in as much pressure as he could. Valentine was looking at Alec and Alec locked eyes with him until his siblings and mother came into the kitchen.

Alec's mother took the roast off of the counter and her children each carried the sides and sat the food at the center of the table. Alec was seated between Izzy and Jace with Valentine and James in front of them. Max sat next to them, and each parent sat at each end of the table. His mother had pulled out their fancy china for this occasion, the white ones with three rings of dark blue, and Alec repeated the pattern in his head. His father and colleges were currently having a discussion about whatever business proposal he had planned while the rest of the family served themselves. White, blue, white, blue, white, blue, white. Alec only served himself the side dishes. His father looked him dead in the eye. "Aren't you going to have some roast?," the way he said it was not a question. Alec looked over at Izzy and her eyes were wide. He cut off a small piece and put it on his plate. His father looked appeased for the moment and he served himself a portion. White, blue, white, blue, white, blue, white.

The sound of forks scraping across plates filled the air and Alec pushed the meat around on his plate, not eating it. He didn't care what his father said- he wasn't going to change Alec's beliefs. Valentine was currently talking to Izzy about her dance classes that his daughter, Clary, also took. While Izzy was explaining a very complicated routine, Valentine locked eyes with Alec. Alec gulped but held his gaze until Valentine looked away to answer Izzy.

After a discussion of business opportunities, they started discussing their family values. As Alec's father told them total bullshit about how he raised his children, Alec had to bite the inside of his cheek until it bled to keep himself from saying anything. His father began animatedly telling a story about how he had taught Alec to ride a bike. White, blue, white, blue, white, blue, white. When he got to the part about how Alec fell down and he helped him back up, Alec's body stiffened. James looked over at Alec and locked eyes with him. "You and your father have a great relationship. It's quite amazing. It seems like most teenagers nowadays don't respect their parents, what do you think boy?" Alec closed his eyes and took a deep breath. They didn't want to know what he thinks. They didn't want to know about the countless nights without sleep for fear of his father coming in and hurting him. They didn't want to know about how Alec hated himself because of the things that came out of that man's mouth. They didn't want to know about how he just wanted to die most days, because what was the point? His eyes opened and he plastered on another fake ass smile. "Yeah, he's a great dad."

His father and colleges got up from the table to go over some paperwork in his office. Alec let out a huge breath and closed his eyes. He managed to clean up the kitchen and dining room, then excused himself.

As he laid on his bed with his hands holding fistfuls of his hair, something flashed in the corner of his eye. He looked over to see his iPhone lit up, showing that he had a new message. He slid his thumb across the screen. **Magnus: Hey sweetums, how's the dinner going? Just thought I would check in. Call me when you can, I miss you ;). **Alec smiled when he read the short message and tapped the call button. It rung twice before Magnus answered. "Love!" Alec laughed at his greeting. "Hey Magnus. I just got out of the dinner," Alec replied. "Well, how did it go? You said that your dad was having some partners over or something," Magnus asked, genuinely curious. This was one of the things Alec really loved about him. He always cared about what Alec had to say. "Yeah. They were creepy. I guess the dinner went okay," Alec said. _Liar_. He hated lying to Magnus, but he didn't want him to freak out and tell anyone. He decided to water down the evening. "I mean, it just kind of sucks when my dad acts like he was so great during my childhood when my parents are gone all the time," Alec said lamely. Magnus made a noise of agreement. "Yeah, you said your parents are always on business trips. It must suck not being able to see them." Alec sighed," You would think so, but it's almost a _relief_. I don't have to worry about pretending to be someone else or disappointing them or anything. I get to be myself." Magnus laughed. "Alexander, I don't understand why you think your parents wouldn't love you for who you are. You're such a great person, but you worry far too much," Magnus paused," How about I take you out tomorrow on an official date?" Alec smiled wide and nodded fervently before remembering that he was on the phone,"Um, yeah. I'd really like that," He said quietly as a blush appeared on his pale cheeks. "Great, well I'm going to try and get some rest. Goodnight, Sayang," Magnus said. Alec swore he could hear the smile in his voice. "Goodnight Mags." Alec put his phone on his nightstand and laid down. As he drifted off, mischievous smirks and green eyes were on the forefront of his mind.

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><p><strong>I feel like this chapter was a little better than the last few. I hope so. Any constructive criticism or review is very welcome! You guys reviewing and connecting with this story that is really close to home just means a lot to me. <strong>


	12. Chapter 12: Around My Head

**Author's Note: I'd like to start off with an apology- it has been far too long since I have updated! There has just been so much going on. Since August, I've been juggling work, highschool, college courses and homework and had been under a tremendous amount of stress- and then my friend lost her battle with cancer and I crumbled under the stress. I'm just so sorry for not updating! I've just been both stressed and heartbroken, but I find this as a way to vent and cope, and I thank you all for being a part of that.**

**A few people have asked me about the music Alec listens to (the chapters are all named after songs) so I decided to add some links to the songs if you're interested.**

**Schism - Tool : watch?v=UhjG47gtMCo  
><strong>

**Brain Stew - Green Day: watch?v=elnRbeNsNRk**

**Fuck the System - System of a Down: watch?v=Uu_VuxWCYhQ**

**Falling Away From Me - Korn: watch?v=2s3iGpDqQpQ**

**Negative Creep - Nirvana: watch?v=-5ijtz6Du_s**

**Bullet With Butterfly Wings - Smashing Pumpkins: watch?v=8-r-V0uK4u0**

**Head Like a Hole - Nine Inch Nails: watch?v=8-r-V0uK4u0**

**Interstate Love Song - Stone Temple Pilots: watch?v=yjJL9DGU7Gg**

**Wax Ecstatic - Sponge: watch?v=-NVO3cxTbxg**

**Careful With That Axe, Eugene - Pink Floyd: watch?v=tMpGdG27K9o**

**Machinehead - BUSH: watch?v=Er1bwzZCik0**

**Around My Head - Cage the Elephant: watch?v=TmHZDpvtppU**

**Hopefully the links work! Review and Favorite/Follow please :]**

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><p>Chapter 12: Around My Head<p>

Magnus couldn't remember ever feeling quite so anxious before. He kept fiddling with the thin rusty chain inside of his pocket, continuously talking himself in and out of what he wanted.

The morning sun had woken him, shining it's brilliant rays on his tanned skin. As he laid in the twisted yellow duvet, he thought of his Alexander. Where was Magnus supposed to take him today? What if he messed this up? Sighing, he flung the covers off of his thin body and swung his legs off of the mattress. As he padded to the kitchen to feed Meow, he saw the glint of something flash in his peripheral vision. He turned and saw his mother's ring- a thin golden band with a small elephant inscribed in it- on a rusty chain. He remembered the day he got it.

His Uncle Xeno, all gangly limbs and awkwardness like he hadn't quite grown out of his teenage years even though he was well into his forties, had knocked gently on his bedroom door and peeked his head inside, smiling gently. Xeno, whom he hardly knew, had been attempting to comfort Magnus for quite some time but Magnus kept shutting him out. It was just too much to try and pretend that his consoling words made a difference on the broken shrapnel lodged in his heart. Magnus felt his bed dip under the weight of his uncle but he kept his back towards him. "I know... how your heart feels right now. I know. But Magnus, it has been a long time since your mother has been gone and you are not coping. You know she wouldn't want this. She wanted you to feel every moment of your life and you are using things to numb what you're feeling. You are supposed to feel pain, you cannot neglect it," He placed his hand on Magnus's shoulder and turned him so that he was laying flat on his back, forced to look at Xeno. He dug in the pocket of his jumper and pulled out a rusted chain with a golden ring dangling off of it. "A mother elephant once walked across a country to find her babies who had been lost. She loved them so much that she couldn't continue life without them. She ventured away from her own herd because her pain was so great. After grueling travel, she found her babies bones. She wept and laid beside them. She did not forget her pain. But she also did not forget her love. It is so important for you to not forget, Magnus," Xeno placed the ring in his hand with the chain pooling in his palm. There, on the face of the ring, was an elephant engraved into the gold. He had seen his mother wear the ring before. When he looked up, his uncle was gone.

Soon after that, Magnus had moved out and tried to rebuild his life.

He gently ran his fingers across the grooves in the ring and thought about what Xeno had said. He felt the compelling need to give this to Alexander- to make him _feel_. The pain and suffering that he went through took such a toll on him that he just shut down. Magnus had watched the look on his face turn vacant and unassuming when he ever asked him what he was feeling or thinking- he shut down. Magnus just wanted to know what went on inside of his head. It drove him crazy, watching the thoughts flash across his eyes without knowing what they meant.

As he got ready for his date- spiking his hair into perfection and squeezing into his tightest pants- he kept finding himself looking at the ring.

When he went to grab his keys, he hesitated, and pocketed the ring as well.

Now, as he was ringing the doorbell to Alexander's (rather large and intimidating) house, he didn't know if Alexander would be weirded out by it.

The door opened to reveal Jace, who wore a white shirt that contrasted with his tan skin. "The princess is still getting ready, so do come into our humble abode." Magnus followed him into their living room and sat down on a white leather couch. Jace threw his body down into an armchair in front of Magnus, looking far too much like a lion for Magnus's comfort. "While you are here and Alec is not, I would like to point out a few things," he said, looking at his fingernails," One, the most obvious, if you hurt him, you're dead. Two, if he says no, it means no, and if you don't listen to him, you're dead. Three, if you out him to our parents, you _both_ will be dead." Magnus couldn't help but laugh a little, as inappropriate as it was. "Well, I wouldn't do any of those things. I like living and I like Alexander more." Jace continued to look at his nails like he was too good for this, but he cracked a small smile nonetheless. Someone cleared their throat and he turned around towards the staircase.

Izzy was standing on the last step with a thousand watt smile on her modelesque face. "Okay, so here is the new and improved Alec!" She called Alec down and Magnus watched him walk down the stairs with a blush on his cheeks. He was wearing a pair of tight black pants and a blue long sleeved button down and his hair actually looked brushed for once. He must have thrown a fit, because he was still wearing his scuffed up Doc Martins. Magnus smiled at this and got up to meet him at the base of the stairs. "You look beautiful. You always do," he said as he grabbed Alexanders hands with his own. Alexander smiled and Izzy looked like she was watching puppies sleeping.

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><p>Alec took a bite into the greasy pizza and suppressed a moan- Magnus had insisted that Alec wasn't a "real American" until he had New York pizza. He also had said that it was the perfect cliche American date, so they ended up in a tiny pizzeria after driving around for an hour, just listening to music and talking and laughing.<p>

Magnus was looking at Alec with a smile in his eyes and Alec felt his heart stutter. Magnus reached across the table and touched Alec's hand and Alec opened his hand up- thinking that Magnus wanted to hold his hand. Instead, he felt something cool being pressed into his hand and his eyebrows furrowed until he realized what he was holding. He touched the elephant gently and a smile formed on his face. "What is this for?" Magnus actually _blushed_. The boy who had no sense of embarrassment, who never knew when to not go there, actually blushed. "It... it was my mom's. I just wanted you to have it because it got me through a lot and made me remember that it was okay to feel what I was feeling, as long as I was feeling something and I wanted you to feel that too and I'm sorry if it was stupid or if you don't want it or anything you can ju-" Alec cut him off by leaning across the table and kissing him fiercely and frantically "Shut up, you idiot," he said between kisses.

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><p>Sebastian's mouth drew into a frown of disgust as he watched the freak kiss his boy toy. There was <em>no way<em> he was going to get away with that if Sebastian had anything to do with it.


End file.
